Thursday, April 25, 2013

At My Most Vulnerable

I'll be the first to say it: this skirt does not fit. When I put it on this morning, it felt fine, and it looked fine in the mirror. But then I went to school, came back, took my outfit pictures, and was mortified. Either the mirror is a liar, or the camera is a bully.

After I saw the pictures, I had a few options:
1) Not post at all today
2) Photoshop (altering the image)
3) Crop (to hide the skirt)
4) Post picture as is

I choose to post. Here's the real me, walls down and all. I'm making myself vulnerable. So tell me to put this skirt away until I lose eight pounds, tell me that you can relate, tell me what's on your mind.

The thing is, I really like this outfit. I just hate the way it looks on me. I almost broke down to my husband after I saw the pictures. (Talk about self-consciousness at its worst.) I know we all have our insecurities. I have a long and pointy nose ("prominent" says my husband) but I've accepted it. I haven't, however, accepted the way I currently look in this skirt, and am incredibly insecure about it. (The skirt wasn't a "bad purchase"-- I've just gained weight since I bought it.) How do you handle your insecurities? Do you try to conceal them as much as possible, or do you embrace them? Will you wear clothes that you love, even if they don't fit you like they once did?



Occasion: Teaching, Attending Class
Cardigan: The Limited {similar}
Scarf: The Limited {floral option}
Belt: Forever 21 {similar}
Skirt: The Limited {sim, sim, sim}
Heels: Predictions via Payless {exact}

14 comments:

  1. To me, the skirt looks fine in this picture. I know exactly how you feel, i have put on a lot of weight over the holidays and all of a sudden a lot of my clothes "shrank". I am just a putting them on hold until I can fit back into them again. I know weight is something I can control and I am not happy with my current size so I need to take charge and change my diet.

    Alice
    www.happinessatmidlife.com

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  2. What do you mean it doesn't fit?! You look picture perfect!! Wear the skirt, babe, it looks really good on you. As for gaining weight - you were probably too skinny in the first place if you gained weight because now you look great.

    P.S.: If you won't wear the skirt, I will, because that color is frigging gorgeous!!:D

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  3. I think the skirt looks great on you! This whole outfit is awesome! The colors are really pretty together and a perfect spring/summer outfit.

    I think we all have insecurities, but as I get older, I just don't give a crap anymore what people think. After two kids and having stretch marks and getting into a bikini used to terrify me. Now I just wear my bikini with pride and know that those stretch marks were from all my hard work carrying a baby for 9 months!

    Heather

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  4. First of all, I so appreciate your honesty! I think we are all our own harshest critic. I probably wouldn't have noticed the skirt problem if you hadn't mentioned it. And I don't think your nose is "prominent", but I definitely have issues with my own nose! I am guilty of wearing clothes that don't really fit anymore. Skirts are tricky, because I can still zip them if I just put it a little higher on my waist, and then I'm like "Whoa, this skirt got shorter!" I've gotten to the point where I am more accepting of my current body (imperfections and all) and just try to work with what I have. Sure, I'd like to lose a few (or 30) pounds, but that's not going to happen over night.

    As far as blogging pictures of myself - I do try to suck in my gut and stand in such a way that I look thinner, but sometimes I still end up with pictures that aren't super flattering. But again, I'm not pretending to be a perfect high-fashion model blogger. I'm just trying to be a regular woman who gets dressed every day and wants to keep it interesting!

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  5. Awww, I think you look fine, and I'm sure in person it was okay, this might just be a bad picture? But I do know what you mean about insecurities, and we all have them. I have to take like 20 pictures just to find one that is "decent" and even then, sometimes I just end up throwing away a batch of photos and not posting because I hate how I look.

    On the brightside, the color is gorgeous and I do love the outfit!

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  6. At least from the picture or from what I can tell the skirt looks great on you & it fits you fine. But you might be seeing (and feeling) things we are not. If you feel like the skirt is tight for now, put it away for a while. It is a great skirt & I know you love it. It will give you more reason to get in shape so you will fit into it later. And I agree this is a lovely outfit, full of colors. I love that scarf, I own it too.

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  7. It's such a touchy subject, I think, talking about how to handle insecurities. Because obviously the girl-power in me wants to say GIRL, WEAR WHATEVA YOU WANT AND ROCK IT. CONFIDENCE MAKES YO BODY SEXY. Except turns out that confidence doesn't make my thighs not jiggly when I wear shorts, and doesn't make cellulite any less apparent in white jeans. I think, for the sake of looking polished in professional, a person should always dress to suit their body as best as they can. There is obviously a fine line between "embracing" my curves and dressing FOR them as opposed to "embracing" my curves and wearing whatever the heck I want, be it flattering or not. I think you get what I'm saying. I dress in a way that's flattering for my body and I think that's just the most socially acceptable option for everyone. Just my opinion.

    But acceptance is kind of a separate issue. Sometimes I think I've accepted that I have the body type where I'm tiny up top and curvy on bottom, and I tell myself that that's the way I'd prefer it anyway, that it's womanly and attractive, blah blah blah. And sometimes I try on pair after pair of shorts and light-colored jeans and am so sad and disappointed and discouraged when I see how I look in those clothing items. I don't care if I can wear tight tops and never have a big belly like half of the women in the world. I want to wear shorts too!!! Thankfully, I'm at my thinnest that I've been since like, middle school, so all of my clothes generally fit or are too big, but during times that I slack on my diet/workout for a few weeks or so, it's awful to try on something and realize you don't look like you used to in it... and then you feel like OMG I WAS WRONG ALL ALONG ABOUT THE FRENCH FRIES AND THEY DO CATCH UP TO YOU AND I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. At least that's how I feel about it. I've had more mini breakdowns to my husband over my body than I'd like to admit! So don't feel alone. <3 And for the record, I didn't notice anything off about this outfit until I read what you said, and either way, I'm sure it looked just fine in person, and is actually one of my favorite combinations I've seen you in.

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  8. I'm going to be 100% honest and say that I don't see anything wrong with how that skirt fits you. Everything is streamlined and there is only minimal tugging/bunching, so from the pictures I think it looks really nice on you. That being said, if you don't feel comfortable in it, it won't matter how many people tell you otherwise, ya know? You have to make it work for you. We'll just be here being your cheerleaders and telling you that your "prominent" nose fits your face perfectly :)

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  9. We are always harder on ourselves than others are. I honestly don't know what you're talking about with this skirt. I think it looks great on you and I can't see any weight gain in it. I'm not ever sure you have gained weight :) You are gorgeous! My insecurity with my looks is my eyes...I wish they were bigger and I also don't like my profile very much, especially my left side. lol

    www.kacieskloset.blogspot.com
    www.daisyraeboutique.com

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  10. this skirt looks great on you, fits you like a glove. I have no idea what were you talking about)))) Great picture as well!
    Have a fabulous time!

    Best wishes, Alexandra
    www.svetusvet.blogspot.com

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  11. Kate, I've been there myself. The reason I haven't been posting as regularly lately is because I'm struggling with my appearance right now. I'm choosing the "no post" route instead of the "vulnerable" route that you've chosen. I wish I was just 2% more confident to make myself vulnerable, but I already feel vulnerable posting on good days, so I'm not sure I can muster that up yet.

    For what it's worth, I think you look gorgeous in these pictures. You look stunning in bright colors, honestly. But ultimately, I just want people to feel comfortable in what they're wearing, and if you're uncomfortable in this skirt (despite how beautiful you are in it, in my opinion), then don't feel the need to wear it :)

    XOXO
    Brynn

    theoriginalbrynn.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi!! :)
    I really like your blog and your style!
    I´m following you :)
    maybe if you want, you could visit my blog too,
    and if you like it, follow me back!
    http://modacapital-blog.com
    kiss

    ReplyDelete
  13. That happens to me all the time. The outfit looks good in the mirror but after taking the picture it reveals some imperfections. I usually don't post sometimes but I wear the outfit in real life anyway, because to tell you the truth, no one notices. The camera takes a still picture so some imperfections come out but in real life you're not standing still so any imperfection is unnoticed.

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  14. I definitely have days like this. But I will say - you look amazing in this photo - everything has really clean lines and looks great. But I totally know how you feel - we all see things that used to look one way, and now they don't, and it's more the change that bothers us than the actual current place - at least, that's often what happens to me. Put it away for a while, bring it out later, and see ho wyou feel about it!

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